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Post by Thomas Miller on Apr 9, 2017 12:45:00 GMT -6
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Post by Eyesnsane on Apr 10, 2017 12:23:35 GMT -6
Personally I don't mind a slightly interactive promo. I would have just used the first video for the description though but that's just me.
I found myself interested in the story you are trying to tell so that's a plus for sure. I can see potential for a lot of depth and back story with this guy. However I just don't feel as though we were introduced to things here, what I mean is in reading it I kind of felt as though I missed the first episode of a new show and was trying to figure some stuff out. Having read the work I feel like I still don't know who Miller is or how he came to be as he is, but again I see a lot of ways the character can go. The other thing that stuck out was there seemed to me a spot or two were your description just sort of became narration as well. Like toward the end of that first blue part and towards the end of the promo and I found that to be just a bit confusing to have me read those areas twice.
This was a great display of story telling all and all and I think with a minor tweak or two you probably beat me here. Good stuff man. I'll keep an eye out for you because I honestly am interested to see where you take this guy and more about where he came from as well.
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Post by Thomas Miller on Apr 11, 2017 8:58:48 GMT -6
Thank you so much for that man! I really love to write stories, rather than traditional rping that I've done in the past. I definitely look forward in rping again, and will use your advice!
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